Mentis Fugit - two minds, half a brain

Unpatriotic Swine!

2010-06-18T13:13:00.001+12:00

It's schadenfreudelicious! New Zealand has only appeared once before in the FIFA World Cup, back in 1982. We went home after pool play with no competition points, and while we're back in the compeition 28 years later we are only rated 78th in the world, so the smart money's not on us. Neither, it would appear, is the stupid money.

All Whites' goal costs punter $40,000
An unlucky punter is no doubt ruing a last minute decision to drop a whopping $40,000 on Slovakia to beat the All Whites - just one minute before betting closed.

The internet bet, placed in the 87th minute, was made as Slovakia was paying just $1.02 for the win.

The punter would have taken home a profit of just $800 had the bet came through.

However a 93rd minute goal by Winston Reid saw the All Whites draw even.

Now back to our scheduled program of doom, gloom and despair with fries, aka life.

(The name "All Whites" for our national Soccer side reflects the colour of their uniform, and mirrors the national Rugby team's "All Blacks" monicker and uniform.)

What we have here is a failure to listen to the words

2010-03-12T13:52:00.003+13:00

What is it about anthemic songs and Republicans? When Ronald Reagan in 1984, and later Bob Dole in 1996, co-opted Born in the USA for their campaigns, it could only have been for the visceral arrangement and the chorus, because the verses didn't exactly have the singer living in that "shining city upon a hill".

British band Muse have been with us for more than a decade now, but only with their latest release, The Resistance, have they cracked the American market. The debut single from that album, Uprising sat at the top of the Billboard Alternative chart from September 2009 to January 2010.

Sayeth Wikipedia,

The song has been interpreted by some to have a libertarian message, and has been used by some in the liberty and Tea Party movements as a popular anthem. The song played as conservative commentator Glenn Beck took the stage at the 2010 Conservative Political Action Conference.

One small problem:

Lead singer Matt Bellamy explained: “The lead single, ‘Uprising’, was kind of inspired by the G20 protests which took place last year. I was in London at the time and I saw it all going on outside where I live.”

He added: “I sort of found that whole protest quite inspiring really; just the idea that people just having a good time, putting together a peaceful protest but the police still do their best to make it become violent and I find that quite aggravating. So, that’s what the song’s about.”

(emphasis mine)

I expect Teabaggenführer Beck would point to the quote,

“I sort of wanted to write a song that summed up that feeling like you’ve been done over by people you’re supposed to trust. That’s kind of where the song’s coming from really.”

for some sort of justification, but it's the likes of Beck that have had the trust placed in them by their audience...

...who should be paying more attention to the words, and thinking about just who "the fat cats" of the song actually are.

The Truth About Teabaggers

2009-12-09T19:21:00.004+13:00

Whatever they say, you just know this is what they mean.

What if?

2009-08-10T20:22:00.001+12:00

What if some man-made disaster killed a quarter of a million Americans, the cause was linked to allegations of neglect or incompetence by senior government officials, and just a day or two after the disaster the president left for a holiday in Scotland? What if?

http://nz.news.yahoo.com/a/-/top-stories/5792265/bodies-of-ferry-dead-may-never-be-found/

The population of the Kingdom of Tonga is 108,000. Around midnight last Wednesday, the ferry Princess Ashika sank at sea with an estimated 149 people on board. There were 54 survivors — do the math.

Only two bodies have been found, and none of the 33 women and 10 children on board survived. Tragically, they had been given preference for the cabins below decks, and the ship sank so swiftly none had time to wake and escape, along with more than fifty men.

The ferry had just recently been acquired by the Tongan government, but was 34 years old, and only intended as a stopgap measure while a modern replacement was built:

Meanwhile, debate is raging in Tonga about the seaworthiness of the Princess Ashika, which was bought by the government-owned Shipping Corporation of Polynesia, from Fiji just two months earlier.

The MV Pulupaki was the first ship to arrive at the scene and pulled survivors from the water. Its owner, Tu'i Uata, said the Princess Ashika "was in bad shape", Radio New Zealand reported.
Workers trying to take rust out of it when it first arrived in Tonga were able to punch their hammers through the hull of the lower deck, he said.

Meanwhile,

Missing from the vigils was King Tupou V, who surprised many by leaving for a Scottish holiday soon after the disaster.

Is it any surprise that the King's first name is...

...George?

Please take a moment to spare a thought for the people of Tonga. Almost everyone has lost someone they knew and loved.

Because David Vitter still has a job...

2009-02-16T21:34:00.001+13:00

...I'm gonna recycle this.

Victory was certain...

2008-11-05T22:53:00.002+13:00

...once Obama had the feline vote sewn up.

Congratulations on starting the long, slow journey back to civilization.

This weekend, I too will be heading to the polls. Because we operate a three year cycle, and the election date normally falls around this time of year, every twelve years New Zealand's general election will be within a week or three of the US presidential elections.

Some time on Saturday, I will take the Easy Vote card I received in the mail a week or so back to a convenient polling station and exchange it for a piece of paper on which I will make two ticks with an orange felt tip marker - one for a candidate, and one for a party.

My son got his letter from the electoral commission after he turned 17, inviting him to register on the roll so that he will be eligible to vote from his 18th birthday. It all works very smoothly; no mess, no fuss, and no fraud.

A final thought: has Karl Rove's strategy for a ~~Thousand Year Reich~~Permanent Republican Majority turned out to be a successful eight year suicide bid? Let us tempt fate - tweak the Devil's foreskin, as it were. Which of these would work best for you? Show your working on a separate sheet.

2008 - Obama
2012 - Obama
2016 - Clinton
2020 - Clinton
2008 - Obama
2012 - Clinton
2016 - Obama
2020 - Clinton
2008 - Obama
2012 - Clinton
2016 - Clinton
2020 - Obama

Mitt vs Reality

2008-08-26T19:33:00.001+12:00

Double Take

2008-04-04T09:06:00.001+13:00

You know you're paying too much attention to US politics when...

Leafing through our free local community paper, I came across the headline "How do you think GW is doing?" I had to read the article text before I realised that it was talking about Greater Wellington.

It does the soul good, you know

2007-09-19T21:14:00.000+12:00

Update: It's a slow motion train-wreck

First, an important announcement. September 19th is International Talk Like A Pirate Day. I've done my bit, though the eyepatch had to come off at about 2pm as strange Moire hallucinations were starting to happen to my covered eye.

Now, on to the story of the day. From NewsTalk ZB radio network news:

Seams of new Christian party unraveling?

The deal to form a new Christian political party is in disarray.

Just yesterday, Destiny Church deregistered as a political party and said it was forming a new party with other Christian groups. They announced former Destiny New Zealand leader Richard Lewis would be a co-leader.

Independent MP Gordon Copeland then announced he was the other co-leader and said Mr Lewis' appointment was news to him.

Mr Copeland says he is today in damage control mode, as it all looks "Mickey Mouse and shambolic", which is not the way it was planned. He met with Mr Lewis for two hours at Parliament today and claims the Destiny Church representative apologised for landing him in it. However, Mr Lewis says he did not apologise.

[...]

[NewsTalk ZB political editor] Barry Soper suggested to Mr Copeland that it does not auger well for future relations and the MP replied "You can say that again".

But the comment that brings tears of delight to my eyes is from the end of the New Zealand Herald's piece on the same story. It's important to know that Peter Dunne is not by any stretch of the imagination a liberal by NZ standards:

UnitedFuture leader Peter Dunne, whose party Mr Copeland quit earlier, said the whole thing was "amusing to watch".

"But frankly anything that involves [Destiny Church leader Brian] Tamaki and the black shirts is doomed to fail."

Self-styled Bishop Brian Tamaki is probably the closest thing we have to a US-style televangelist, and in the words of Douglas Adams, I would trust him about as far as I could comfortably spit a rat. I'm not alone, either; at the last general election Destiny New Zealand polled a whopping 0.6% of the vote. Let's hope that sanity persists.

Update: It's a slow motion train-wreck

Oh, I'll let TV3 National News provide the tune. First, they can add to the joy above.

Yesterday

Copeland may pull out of new Christian political party

[...]
Destiny Church yesterday went off the prepared hymn sheet and prematurely named Lewis as a co-leader - it took Copeland by surprise, he was forced to come clean.
[...]
Yesterday Destiny's Brian Tamaki suggested all the major churches were on board, but when 3 News rang around today we found no senior clergymen or representatives have signed up at all.

Today

Co-leader pulls out of new Christian party

Another major upset has hit the formation of a new unified Christian political party with one of the co-leaders pulling out.

Independent MP Gordon Copeland says he cannot work with Richard Lewis from the former Destiny New Zealand party.

His announcement this morning comes just two days after a farcical series of press conferences where it was announced they are to co-lead a new pan-Christian political party.

Mr Copeland says he still plans to set up a new Christian party and Mr Lewis is welcome to join him, but not as co-leader.

He describes them as being not on the 'same page politically'.

What kind of stabiliser?

2007-09-03T14:14:00.000+12:00

Read the specs on the right to find the answer.

This appeared in our city daily Friday-before-last.

"As a surrealist, I quite enjoy having dementia"

2007-07-06T21:18:00.000+12:00

We should all have lived half as well:

British jazz singer George Melly dies at age 80

LONDON: George Melly, a flamboyant, gravel-voiced jazz singer, critic and raconteur, died Thursday, his wife said. He was 80 years old.
He died at his London home, Diana Melly said.
Though suffering from lung cancer and dementia, Melly continued performing nearly until the end. "As a surrealist, I quite enjoy having dementia," he joked.
He gave his last concert on June 10, attired in African robes and rolled on stage in a wheelchair.
Melly was noted for loud suits, louder ties and the image he cultivated of a hard-drinking throwback to the jazz age.
"He was loved for his risque storytelling and Bessie Smith blues songs. He adored Bessie and tried his utmost to sing like her," said jazz diva Dame Cleo Laine.
[...]

Tonight, I am playing "Old Codger", a song The Stranglers wrote for him, and he performed with them, from 1978. Loud.

Confusion will be my Epitaph

2007-06-26T12:49:00.000+12:00

Some headstones it'd be worth sticking round for:

Bill O'Reilly - God finally cut his mike
Dick Cheney - Hades' Board of Directors had a vacancy
George Bush - Fertilising brush for the next generation to cut
Rush Limbaugh - Viagra won't get me up now
Bill Frist - Bast wanted a word
Arnold Schwarzenegger - I won't be back
Alberto Gonzales - Recalled, even though he couldn't recall

Now, Tom Delay? Karl Rove? Sean Hannity?

History Repeating

2007-05-06T09:21:00.000+12:00

Customarily, history is supposed to play the first time as tragedy, and the second time as farce. In these confused times, should we be so surprised when the order gets reversed?

Let's start with a headline, 100% accurate in every detail - just slightly tuned for purposes of ironic obfuscation.

Decorated Texas Vet Presents George With A Purple Heart

Believe it or not, I'm not talking about this laughable, yet also a little sad, piece nonsense from a couple of weeks ago.

WASHINGTON – Bill and Georgia Thomas reported they were elated Monday when they met in the Oval Office with President George W. Bush to present him with a Purple Heart.
Read the rest if you haven't just eaten

No, this is the story here:

Hero Jack Russell to receive Purple Heart
By JAYNE HULBERT - Taranaki Daily News Saturday, 5 May 2007
Hero-dog George has touched plenty of hearts - now he's being honoured with a Purple Heart.
American war veteran Jerrell Hudman was so moved by the Jack Russell's story of sacrifice that he is sending George his Purple Heart medal.
Last weekend George gave his life in saving a group of Manaia children facing attack from vicious pitbulls. The plucky pooch put himself between the dogs and the children and, in the end, it was George the pitbulls savaged.
His injuries were so bad George was later put down by a vet.
[...]
George's picture now graces the wall in the Hudmans' computer room, next to a photo of one of their sons - they have two and both have been Marines - taken during his tour of duty in Iraq.
Mr Hudman says the dog-loving couple immediately decided George's memory deserved the medal, awarded to him in Vietnam in 1967 for being wounded in combat.
"I was with the Ninth Marines and we were up by Kontum and a mortar round came in and and landed in a hole where myself and some other Marines were. I was one of the lucky ones who survived."
The Purple Heart is one of three he received in Vietnam and it will arrive in Manaia by post within the next few weeks.
Read the rest

Yes, a dog deserves a medal more than the President of the United States.

Very Important Disclaimer: I know nothing of the Hudmans' political feelings or inclinations and I do not seek to represent their actions as constituting a statement of any kind other than of respect for George the Jack Russell. An overwhelming ironic coincidence is still just a coincidence.

Meet the new boss

2007-04-28T19:21:00.000+12:00

Her name is Karma. She is nine weeks old.

The name was difficult, but Die Gnädige Frau announced that until we came up with one she would call it Emo. That accelerated the decision-making process.

Shit

2007-04-26T22:24:00.000+12:00

We didn't choose Simba when we went to the SPCA to find a cat, he chose us.

14 November 2004

22 January 2005

16 March 2005

18 June 2005

27 October 2005

27 November 2005

15 November 2006

This morning, some time between 8:15 and 9:00, he was hit by a car on the main road. Mercifully, all appearances are he died instantly. A neighbour found him placed on the side of the road, another neighbour ran down to the road still in her night attire and robe and carried him home, then they phoned us at work. We came home to bring him inside, and wrapped him in the blanket his "big sister" made him. Tonight, our neighbours gave us flowers.

We are shattered. The kids are devastated.

Shit.

25 April, 1915

2007-04-25T17:39:00.000+12:00

Kemal Atatürk Memorial, ANZAC Parade, Canberra, Australia

Those heroes that shed their blood and lost their lives... You are now lying in the soil of a friendly country. Therefore rest in peace. There is no difference between the Johnnies and the Mehmets to us where they lie side by side now here in this country of ours... you, the mothers, who sent their sons from faraway countries wipe away your tears; your sons are now lying in our bosom and are in peace. After having lost their lives on this land they have become our sons as well.

—Mustafa Kemal Atatürk, 1934

Open Season?

2007-03-10T08:15:00.000+13:00

This is everywhere at the moment, of course:

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich acknowledged he was having an extramarital affair even as he led the charge against President Clinton over the Monica Lewinsky affair, he acknowledged in an interview with a conservative Christian group.

As a wise man once say - as many wise men have said - "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Well, Newt did his damndest to do unto Clinton. I guess he's given you carte blanche to destroy him. Have fun.

To a "T"

2007-03-05T21:32:00.000+13:00

Digby reminds us of this charmless piece of wingnut "wit" of yore:What a curious beast it is. It waddles like a joke and it quacks like a joke, but teh funny eludes it with furious determination. Where could teh funny be hiding? Is it here?Or perhaps it's lurking down here...We report, you deride.

Concerned yet?

2007-01-11T09:13:00.000+13:00

Crooks & Liars shows us the enemies of the Constitution:

Fox and Friends: Ted Kennedy is a hostile enemy
Sean Hannity names his first Enemy of the State
Radio Rwanda comes to America in the happiest kingdom of them all (if Walt wasn't frozen would he be spinning?)

"May we never confuse honest dissent with disloyal subversion."
— Dwight D. Eisenhower, the last great Republican president

U.S. Tax Dollars At Work

2007-01-07T08:25:00.000+13:00

More than half your federal taxes go to the Department of Defense. Some countries, like Saudi Arabia, spend a larger proportion of their GDP on defence, but the U.S. nevertheless spends roughly as much on defence as the rest of the world put together. (Whether it's more or less probably depends on whether you factor in the funding of George's Excellent Adventures in Afghanistan and Iraq through supplementary spending bills.)

For all that money you get this:

US Army Asks Deceased To Re-Enlist

The US Army said that it will apologise to the families of deceased and wounded officers that it mistakenly encouraged to re-enlist via letters sent out in late December.

About 75 families of deceased officers and 200 families of wounded officers received such letters sent to more than 5,100 officers between Dec. 26 and 28, the Army said in a statement.

[...]

I'd ask for a refund if I were you, though I must admit the rest of the world sleeps ~~sounder~~ a little less nervously knowing incompetence is a great money-waster.

Ignore it and it will go away

2006-12-05T14:40:00.000+13:00

From Think Progress, Joe Klein could give Charlie Brown lessons on wishy-washy.

On the Chris Matthews Show yesterday, Time magazine senior writer Joe Klein said of Sen. Barack Obama’s (D-IL) support for setting a timetable for the withdrawal of troops from Iraq: "That may well be true, but it’s wrong to say it."

Good grief! The only time when it may not be appropriate to tell the truth is when dealing with the mentally unstable.

Oh.

All right then.

Fox mantra

2006-11-18T21:33:00.000+13:00

Since my car's CD player died I've been reduced to grubbing through dusty boxes of old cassette tapes for my entertainment on the move. In the player now is a C-90 I ripped (yeah, yeah, we didn't call it that back then, did we?) a couple of Depeche Mode albums to. Side A "Some Great Reward", Side B "Black Celebration". So I get to the end of the second side, and there's the closing track, New Dress, from 1986.

The whole song is as relevant now as it was twenty years ago, but the chorus could serve as Rupert Murdoch's mission statement:

You can't change the world
But you can change the facts
And when you change the facts
You change points of view
If you change points of view
You may change a vote
And when you change a vote
You may change the world

Preach it, Bertie!

2006-11-16T12:29:00.000+13:00

Bertrand Russell: "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts."

Shorter Bertrand Russell: "We are so screwed."

Speaking as an IT professional...

2006-11-10T09:53:00.000+13:00

[The correct pronunciation of the ellipsis above is "derisory snort".]

...I subscribe to various online newsletters from Computerworld which link to articles on their website, where I see today that Experts debate: Is DRM good or bad for consumers?

DRM, which allows copyright holders to control how customers access content, could lead to new pricing models favorable to consumers, said James DeLong, a senior fellow at the Progress and Freedom Foundation (PFF), a conservative think tank. For example, instead of paying $30 for a new book, consumers may soon be able to pay $3 for a digital copy that lets them read it once, he said.

That would be the book that I can get from my public library for, uh, nothing? And read anywhere over the next three weeks? (Though if it's a new release I might have to pay, say, three dollars to have it for a week.)

Then there's the question of what "read it once" means. Can you flick back a couple of pages to refresh your memory of what Myrtle Knibb said to the butler when she found the razor blades in the guacamole? Silliness.

There was a time when booksellers tried to shut down libraries, in the 18th Century. We haven't come far at all.

P.S. When I cut-and-pasted the quote about, I didn't actually note the words "conservative think tank". Imagine my surprise.

Say Cheese

2006-11-07T10:33:00.000+13:00

Digital cameras are nigh universal now. You can shoot video with sound for a pittance. Cellphones and PDAs have megapixel and better resolution.

Carry one at all times. If anything happens at the polling station - record it. There is absolutely no excuse for any shenanigans not to be recorded for posterity from half a dozen angles.

And while you're there, don't forget to vote.

Addendum-diddle-um-diddle-um-dum-dum: Well fancy that.

Pop Quiz

2006-10-04T21:37:00.000+13:00

The Republican Party is the party of family values. Which family?

(a) Borgia
(b) Ptolemy
(c) Gotti
(d) Borden
(e) Romanov

2006 words

2006-09-04T13:21:00.000+12:00

Appeasing fascists? Talk to the authority.

In the absence of substance, cheap laughs

2006-06-20T21:08:00.000+12:00

I saw this list in a comment thread God-knows-where and though it has surely been all over the Internets by now, and applied with appropriate alterations to at least three presidents of the United States, six prime ministers of four different Commonwealth countries, one or more Popes, Fidel Castro, and Angelina Jolie, I swear I haven't seen it elsewhere personally, so I cut and paste with a clear - if creatively bankrupt - conscience.

How many members of the Bush administration does it take to change a light bulb?

One to call FOX news so they can broadcast a story denying that the light bulb needed to be changed in the first place;

One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed;

One to blame Bill and Hillary for burning out the light bulb;

One to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have caused the light bulb to burn out and to find the stockpile of light bulbs;

One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb;

One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner: Light Bulb Change Accomplished;

One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in detail how Bush was literally in the dark;

One to viciously smear #7;

One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along;

One to arrange a Press Conference where Bush will tell everyone that he is the "Decider" and he decided all alone that the light bulb needed changing;

One person to arrange for Condi and Rumsfield to make a secret trip to the GE Light Bulb Factory;

One to sober Cheney up and keep him sober so he doesn't shoot the light bulb changer;

And finally one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.

Welcome to the Oubliette, Zacarias

2006-05-05T12:46:00.000+12:00

So Moussaoui is to rot for as long as he chooses to keep himself alive, depriving him of the witless martyrdom he craves, and depriving the Executioner-in-Chief of the blood he craves. Quite a satisfactory result.

Do you think they'll tell him which way Mecca is?

Cindy Sheehan is entitled to feel a little envious

2006-04-29T23:30:00.000+12:00

Howard Woken By Soldier's Widow
28/04/2006
NewstalkZB

It is thought the body sent to Australia in place of the remains of the country's first fatality in Iraq was that of an East European man.

An investigation is underway after the bungle over the return of Jake Kovco's casket.

His remains are now expected back home tomorrow; they were supposed to arrive in Melbourne yesterday, but the wrong coffin was put on the plane in Kuwait.

The soldier's family is outraged, confused and distressed.

His widow phoned Australian prime minister John Howard in the middle of the night to demand an answer, which her father in law Martin Kovco says was not forthcoming.

He says Mrs Kovco got Mr Howard out of bed, adding that while the Prime Minister was obviously able to sleep, the Kovco family is unable to because of what has happened to Jake.

Private Kovco's mother Judy has publicly berated Defence Minister Brendan Nelson, who flew in to pass on the bad news. She says she just sat there thinking it was all a big mistake, and that her son was going to walk in.

Let's run that by you in slow motion: the widow telephoned the prime minister in the middle of the night to demand an explanation, and was put through. Can you imagine the witch-hunts that would ensue if the Bubble Prince's nap-time was disturbed in this fashion?

Could the United States please hand the epithet "Land of the Free" over to Australia. They seem to have a better idea what it means right now.

His fame precedeth him

2006-04-08T22:14:00.000+12:00

This is from the contents page of the April 2006 issue of Total Gamer, an Australian console gaming magazine that the younger inhabitants of Schloß Fugit obtain from time to time.

Well it made me laugh.

@Random

2006-03-02T20:09:00.000+13:00

Back in the lead-up to the US presidential elections, an Internet survey (and yes, we all know how reliable those are) assessed George W Bush's popularity around the globe. As I recall, the response was well into the six figures, and overall he sat on about 24% approval, while in New Zealand and Australia it was closer to 21%.

At the time, his approval rating in the US was somewhere in the 45%-50% region, which under Diebold rules gave him a clear mandate after the votes were, um, counted. (Mandate, coincidentally, is the brand name of an aftershave given to me some twenty years ago that I have yet to finish.)

My question is this: now that his approval rating domestically is somewhere in the region of 34% or less, what could it be internationally? Inquiring minds would like to count the digits.

On to the comic relief. This image needs no introduction:

A copy's been pinned up in the kitchen area at work (I didn't put it up) for months, soliciting captions. There's only four been offered, the lamest of which was probably mine:

The early bird...
Terence the Turkey checked whether George was paltry
Takes an old pecker to know one
Not involved in a babe scandal - good on ya mate

I like the second - didn't recognise the handwriting.

We must be doing something right

2006-02-15T21:52:00.000+13:00

When less than a handful of newspapers here - three, I think- ran a couple of those cartoons, the government was concerned that our trade with Iran might be jeopardised. A meeting was held with Iranian trade representatives to discuss the roles and relationship of government and the media in our society. Also present were senior members of the local Islamic communities, who were present to support the government. I think it's fair to say the better part of the mania that seems to be possessing most of the rest of the world has passed us by thus far.

One of the newspapers which printed cartoons was my local daily, the Dominion Post. They are, frankly, not the most sophisticated organ; not tabloid, but there's an attention-seeking little yellow journalist rattling around inside the editor's head. I'll say no more.

Anyway, on today's front page:

Muslim head girl at Catholic school
15 February 2006
By SOPHIE NEVILLE

The appointment of a Muslim student as head girl of St Mary's College has raised eyebrows among some who feel the top spot should be reserved for a Catholic.

Aysser Aljanabi, an Iraqi student and one of the 10 per cent of non-Catholics at the state integrated Wellington city school has been selected as head girl for 2006.

Head students are usually chosen after a student vote and discussions between senior staff and the principal.

Old Girls Association president Vonnie Nunns said the appointment had been controversial and admitted to being surprised at a Muslim being made head girl. She would not comment further but said the old girls had "no say in the policy" of the school.

Aysser declined to comment on her appointment when contacted by The Dominion Post, and despite repeated calls to the school, principal Mary Cook did not respond either. When approached last year about Aysser becoming the first Muslim head student of a college, the school said an article would be "inappropriate".

Catholic Education Office chief executive Pat Lynch said he was not surprised the appointment had been controversial.

"Given what's going on internationally I can understand some people's reaction."

Non-Catholic students had been head students before but it was important the person was able to "model the values of the school".

"I think it's easier for someone who is a Catholic to do that, but it really depends on the person," he said.

This is what's known in the trade, I am told, as a "beat-up". It's a non-story. The one overwhelming feeling I get from this article is that nobody who is actually involved thinks this sufficiently important to warrant press attention. The paper went to anyone they thought they could get a rise out of, and nobody bit. To get even a tepid response they had to go to a body, the Old Girls Association, which had absolutely no role in the process.

"Despite repeated calls to the school" indeed! Well it would be unseemly for a Catholic girls' school principal to give a literal finger to the press, after all. They should take the hint and butt out.

Addendum: at a family barbecue subsequent to this story, my dear old silver-~~bearded~~haired mother, a Saint Mary's Old Girl, whom I would classify as "conservative" in the classical sense of the word (don't mention Helen Clark in front of her) was nevertheless of very much the same dismissive and, indeed, caustic opinion as her offspring

What's in a name?

2006-02-14T12:46:00.000+13:00

Texas Cheneysaw Massacre? Nah, too obvious. Need something more appropriate. More... political...

Cheneyquiddick

What I think is going to be most interesting is when Whittington starts talking.

Republican Logic 101

2006-01-17T09:54:00.000+13:00

Post ombudsman Howell twice falsely claimed Democrats received contributions from Abramoff

This shouldn't be difficult:

Let A = tribe
Let B = Abramoff
Let C = Democrats

A gives money to B.
A also gives money to C.
Therefore, B has given money to C.

Let me know if I've missed anything.

Important Seasonal Announcement

2005-12-27T19:08:00.000+13:00

Please note that this year, owing to the demonstrable risks posed by the presence of

swans, swimming (7)
geese, laying (6)
birds, calling (4)
hens, French (3)
doves, turtle (2)
partridges, roosting (1)

the Days Of Christmas have been reduced to six.

In response to popular outcry, however, the pear tree will be made available after the appropriate quarantine period. Please complete the appropriate application form (XM-A5) and statutory Declaration Of Need For Cheer (H0-H0H0), including medical documentation of Vitamin C deficiency or Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Grated Seasonings

2005-12-25T11:38:00.000+13:00

Or Season's Greetings, whichever is the more appropriate to your state of inebriation.

On this Christmas Day, let us remember the words of the conservative that George W. Bush could never be:

Ill would it be for us this Christmastide if we were not sure that no greed for the land or wealth of any other people, no vulgar ambition, no morbid lust for material gain at the expense of others, had led us to the field.
- Winston S. Churchill, White House, 25 Dec 1941

Looking for loathe in all the wrong places

2005-12-02T13:18:00.000+13:00

I'm not going to bother with any links since it's all over the fargin' place. I'll just say "War on Christmas" and everyone will know what I'm talking about.

It is, of course, the most ridiculous beat-up of a story imaginable. Everywhere else, nobody gives a shiny shit about what to call it. It's Christmas, and nobody of any sense gives it second thought, whatever their religious sentiments. The only fulmination over the season is concerned with the rampant, crass commercialism that pervades the whole exercise like a particularly eggy fart in an elevator.

Only in America does this happen: first, some fluff-brained do-gooder decides that "Christmas" is exclusionary language and perhaps "Holiday" would be a kinder, gentler term that should be encouraged; then some dull-witted sanctimonious prig twists this into an Eeevul Seckuler Lie-beral Plot To Destroy All Christians. From here, watching them play the victim, it's all laughable nonsense.

The real joke, though, is on everyone, and the punchline can be found in any dictionary.

holiday n., & v.i. 1. n. a day of festivity or recreation, when no work is done;
[...]
[OE haligdæg (HOLY, DAY)]

HOLY DAY. Wakey wakey - we never even left the spot.

P.S. Bill O'Reilly is an arse.

My head a-splode

2005-11-25T22:54:00.000+13:00

File code OMFG:

Ex-FEMA Head Starts Disaster Planning Firm
Fri Nov 25, 1:33 AM ET

DENVER - Former FEMA Director Michael Brown, heavily criticized for his agency's slow response to Hurricane Katrina, is starting a disaster preparedness consulting firm to help clients avoid the sort of errors that cost him his job.

"If I can help people focus on preparedness, how to be better prepared in their homes and better prepared in their businesses — because that goes straight to the bottom line — then I hope I can help the country in some way," Brown told the Rocky Mountain News for its Thursday editions.

Words fail. Well actually they don't, but I'm not expecting an honest answer to the question, "What the fuck is he smoking, and where can I get some?"

I need to drink more (or possibly less)

2005-11-25T22:17:00.000+13:00

A few minutes ago I posted:

Not dead

Just resting. (And that is as close as you'll get to a Monty Python
reference. Deal.)

Then I resumed browsing at This Modern World and read this.

It is strange to me, how quickly New Orleans seems to have slipped from the forefront of our national consciousness [...]

Here's the entry I should have posted.

How many dead are there? As soon as the number started emerging, I felt like there was something wrong. The estimates and then the numbers reported weren't even close. The actuals were too accurate, too soon; something was wrong here; the numbers were being fudged. Not out of malice - I'm not a conspiracy loon - but out of wishful thinking. Yes, I accept the 10,000 or more of some early assessments was excessively pessimistic, but the death toll reported since rings no more true.

Know what? It sounds like something else.

You have a body count for Iraq. It's a number comprising solely US military fatalities, on the ground, in Iraq. Those who think a little more - and give a shit about the wogs - know the number of dead human beings is much, much, much higher. But what's missing? Let's see.

Some are saying those US troops who die after being evacuated from Iraq are not being counted. Is this true? It should not be difficult to determine: it just takes one mother who doesn't see her son's name on a supposedly comprehensive list. I tend to think that if there was any obfuscation going on there, if would be exposed fairly promptly.

But.

There's an awful lot of non-military personnel in there. Blackwater. Halliburton. Fijian ex-UN peacekeepers who found the work and money attractive. More. How are they counted? Are they counted? Who can connect all the numbers.

It's not lies, it's not a conspiracy, but it's callous and it's cynical and it's opaque. We're watching the dots when we should be joining them.

Forgive me. I've been drinking.

Not only in America

2005-11-08T12:14:00.000+13:00

With a nod to Bobo's World, as if to say "you are not alone", from today's Dominion Post:

A Christchurch man bashed his former de facto partner to death in a blind rage over a stolen Nazi flag, a High Court jury was told.
[...]
[Crown Prosector] Mark Zarifeh said Marsh admitted to police he had given his former partner "the bash" because she had taken a Nazi flag that was once in his lounge.
[...]
At one stage Marsh had got the couple's 12-year-old son to help drag her, unconscious, back inside his flat. Ms Hackell's five-year-old son from another relationship witnessed much of the beating.

What a lovely, lovely man. I'm betting the letter P figures prominently in this story's background.

Bedtime story

2005-11-08T09:03:00.000+13:00

Off the wire this morning, Bush Declares: 'We Do Not Torture'.

He almost added, "That's because if we do it, it's not torture. Heheh. Heheheh." Instead, he went on:

"There's an enemy that lurks and plots and plans and wants to hurt America again," Bush said. "So you bet we will aggressively pursue them but we will do so under the law."

He then kissed America goodnight and turned out the light, leaving America staring fearfully at its bedroom wall where the moonshadows leaped and hopped.

"Our country is at war and our government has the obligation to protect the American people," Bush said. "Any activity we conduct is within the law. We do not torture."

There it is again - that little sibilant voice between the ears spoiling my reading: "Any activity we conduct is within the law by definition. Oh, and by the way, don't mention Geneva, even if I say we are at war."

Pretend there's a witty buttock-related pun here

2005-11-04T23:22:00.000+13:00

From the front page of Tuesday's Dominion Post:

This cheeky protest failed to make an impression on Victoria University chancellor Tim Beaglehole and university council secretary Christine Turner as students took action in the face of fees rising by hundreds of dollars next year.

[...]

Politics and criminology student David Cassidy's naked fury led him to bare his bum in protests at the fee rise.

And I was having such a good day

2005-11-01T12:43:00.000+13:00

The highly esteemed World O'Crap discovers the world of Gary and Lisa Ruby. Fear the Lord? Gary and Lisa fear everything, so naturally, Halloween is quivering jelly time. If you want to see the whole spectacular blancmange in all its glory, go to s.z.'s sterling dysconstruction and follow the link she provides. Go on, do it, or you'll miss gems like this:

[In the 1400s the] Druids went from castle to castle doing exactly the same thing. They also demanded a ‘treat’, however, this demand was for a young woman who could be offered as a human sacrifice in a Satanic ritual.

This just begs for a parody of a passage from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. A shame those parodies are invariably lamer than a three-legged giraffe. With gout.

I took a quick look at the Rubys' home page to glean some kind of context. Interesting stuff:

Why is God's Wrath on the Left Behind Series?

Uh, I dunno. Because it's crap?

Dangers of Christian Message Boards
wherein we find a link to
A Pre-Trib Message Board Run By Satan's Workers
in which we are told
The practice of not displaying IP's enables the administrators to use several aliases so as to gain the appearance of an ungodly liberal majority where none exists in actuality.

Could you make this stuff up?

One odd thing is that they seem to have a real obsession with a connection between Scientology (™, ©, ®, old Uncle Tom Cobbley and all) and Terri Schiavo.

You have to laugh, because if you don't laugh, you start to think, and if you start to think, you begin to be afraid. Then you realise there's a hyperlink in this "What's New" item:

Please join with us in intercessory prayer, asking God to rescue the people who are being held for ritual human sacrifice on Halloween, October 31st.

You follow that link, and the fourth paragraph reads

God has confirmed to Gary and me that he does answer intercessory prayer on the behalf of intended sacrifice victims and that lives have been saved because Christians have fasted and prayed for their deliverance from ritual sacrifice.

These people have children. When I see this, I ask myself what they would be capable of in the belief they were protecting them.

Welcome, my friends, to folie à deux country.

The Moon King

2005-10-30T22:39:00.000+13:00

From a sidebar in the paper some time last week:

Privates on parade

Prince Harry was forced to drop his trousers during a parade at the elite Sandhurst military academy to prove he did not have girlfriend Chels Davy's name tattooed on his royal rear, British newspaper The Sun says. Harry, 21, who is on an officer training course, was ordered to bare his behind after rumours spread about the tattoo. During a parade, a sergeant yelled: "Cadet Wales, drop your pants and show me your backside!" Harry said "Are you serious?" before being ordered: "Just get them off, I want to see if it's true." Harry had his trousers at his knees before the grinning sergeant relented.

A couple of notes:

Try to imagine the reaction of the offspring of the New American Aristocracy to being placed in this situation. On second thoughts, don't bother; it's too much of a stretch imagining them in the armed forces in the first place.

The old joke is no joke: the sergeant is God. These cadets will, once they graduate, outrank their sergeant - on paper. If they were paying attention during training, none will presume to test that.

Catblogging is for the weak!

2005-10-27T22:41:00.000+13:00

The last refuge of the content-challenged...

Boo

2005-10-25T13:31:00.000+13:00

By the 1970s, the old Hutt Road couldn't cope with the traffic any more, so they finally ran the Hutt motorway through into the centre of town, cutting straight through the bottom of the old Bolton Street Cemetery. Not everybody was happy with that, but I guess you can't rest in peace in the path of progress.

Anyway, come the end of the decade, I was studying up at Victoria University, and if I had a late lecture the Kelburn cable car would have stopped running before I was out of there. It didn't matter - it was only a twenty minute walk to the trains, and downhill all the way - but come winter, it was well dark after six o'clock.

Usually I'd hike down The Terrace, but from time to time, just for a little variety, I'd find an alternate route, maybe skirting the Botanical Gardens and coming down Clifton Terrace. Whatever took my fancy. This one night, there was pretty close to a full moon and so I cut a big corner off my route by nipping through the remainder of the cemetery where it bordered the motorway.

It had been raining earlier in the day, and there was enough in the way of wet pine needles and the like to require care in where I put my feet as I came down the hillside. Fortunately, the ground was well lit in that strangely silver way, and the path was otherwise very well maintained. Traffic was a persistent muted roar, nothing more.

Another sound carried though. Higher pitched, sharper, a metallic tink, tink, tink. Close by, quite ordinary, but I couldn't place what it was at all. It grew louder as I descended; a few taps, a pause for a few seconds, then a few more taps. Repeat. I began casting round for the source. A side path led off to the right, and the sound was coming from that direction. As I moved closer, I could triangulate it. A few yards from the walkway, there was someone hunched beside one of the headstones. Quietly, I stepped a little closer, then my foot unexpectedly skidded off the slick, moss-covered surface of an exposed pohutukawa root.

I kept my balance but my feet hit the ground below the root with a very solid thump. The effect was electrifying: the crouching figure started up, dropping something as he lurched abruptly to its feet.

"Jesus!" an old man's voice exclaimed breathlessly.

"Sorry mate," I said, embarrassed at startling him, "Are you okay?"

I bent down to pick up the object I'd made him drop. It was a hefty chisel. As I handed it back to him, I could see that he'd kept his grip on a hammer in his other hand.

"Thanks," he said, taking it back from me. I had a closer look at him now. He was wearing a long, heavy greatcoat of some description, though what colour it was I couldn't tell. It wasn't light enough under the moon to distinguish anything beyond shades of grey. He had a particular look about him. The look you see at the Anzac Day dawn parade; the look you see at wreath-layings; the look you see at the table in the corner at the Returned Servicemen's Association with a full ashtray and a half-full jug of DB Draught. The left breast full of ribbons and medals was quite redundant.

I felt further apology was warranted.

"I didn't mean to frighten you."

"That's all right. I shouldn't be out here anyway." He hefted the chisel uneasily.

I took a couple of paces to the left, bringing the face of the headstone into view.
FREDERICK BURGESS 1878 - 1956
Beneath that, in small lettering I had to strain to make out
VETERAN OF THE SOUTH AFRICAN WAR 1899 - 1902
The lettering of the name appeared to have been picked out afresh, explaining the chipping sounds I'd heard, though he couldn't have done anything about the way it was off centre from the rest of the inscription. It seemed odd that the old boy felt like he had to do this under cover of darkness, but it hardly seemed my place to remark.

He spoke again. "Ya haven't got a fag, have ya?"

"No, sorry, I don't smoke."

"No worries. I shouldn't anyway."

Curiosity finally got the better of me.

"Look, I hope I'm not being rude, but why are you doing this?"

A look of irritation crossed his worn features, chased away by a resigned sigh.

"Had to fix it, didn't I."

"Fix what?"

"The buggers spelled my bloody name wrong."

A dissonant moment

2005-10-19T19:42:00.000+13:00

U.S. rejects Katrina meals, offers them to others

WASHINGTON, Oct 14 (Reuters) - The United States on Friday offered needy countries more than 330,000 packaged meals donated by Britain to feed Hurricane Katrina victims but rejected due to a U.S. ban on British beef.

State Department spokesman Adam Ereli said the "Meals Ready to Eat," or MREs, had been held in a warehouse in Little Rock, Arkansas, for more than a month after U.S. Agriculture Department officials said they could not be distributed in the United States because they contained British beef products.

"We are certainly, for our part, looking to dispose of these MREs that were offered in the spirit of friendship and charity. We are looking to dispose of them in the same way," Ereli told a State Department briefing.

Here's a wee clue: the words "dispose" and "spirit of friendship and charity" should not, as a rule, appear quite so close together.

Paceholder

2005-10-19T19:29:00.000+13:00

Democrat colours: white on blue

Republican colours: red on khaki

'nuff said?

Pushing buttons

2005-10-11T14:07:00.000+13:00

This spam is a little more interesting than the usual. I've received it at three different and unrelated email addresses, both at work and at home. It seems to have a two-pronged attack: clicking the included "unsubscribe" link (inactive below for blindingly obvious reasons) confirms that your email address is valid, and also attempts to install a small downloader Trojan, which will then pull down a larger payload, the effect of which I am disinclined to experiment with. But that's not why I'm posting it here.

Hello! It has been requested that the following address: recipient email addressshould be added to the communism community mailing list. You have been successfully subscribed to our mail list. Thank you. _____ To unsubscribe from our mail list, just follow this link: <http://IP elided as public service/subs/unsub.php?email=recipient email address> Click this link, or copy and paste the address into your browser.

I like they way the sender tries to trigger a knee-jerk dash to the malicious hyperlink. You have been "added to the communism community mailing list".

communism?

communism?

COMMUNISM?

Commieeeeeeee. Baaaaaaaaaaad. Eeeeeeeeeek.

What a hoot.

Entertaining a thought

2005-10-10T09:30:00.000+13:00

That is to say, I've been entertaining the thought for some time, but the thought doesn't entertain me one bit. Now this Andy Rooney piece brings my unease closer to the surface.

I'm not really clear how much a billion dollars is but the United States — our United States — is spending $5.6 billion a month fighting this war in Iraq that we never should have gotten into.

We still have 139,000 soldiers in Iraq today.

Almost 2,000 Americans have died there. For what?

Now we have the hurricanes to pay for. One way our government pays for a lot of things is by borrowing from countries like China.

Rooney goes on to compare US military spending ($455 billion in 2004) with that of other countries (Japan $42 billion, Italy $28 billion, Russia $19 billion) and suggest that instead of borrowing, the US should be looking to save money in this area. Lots of money.

The thing is, when your military budget almost equals the rest of the world's combined defence spending, where are you going to find a bailiff to collect on those loans? Considering the current US administration's track record — one big fat hubristic "fuck you" both at home and abroad (and literally, in Dick Cheney's case) — are they deranged enough to think that they can renege on payment, retreat into splendid isolation, and ride out the economic shitstorm that would ensue, safe in the knowledge that everyone else will be hurting worse? There's a lot of attention paid to Third World debt; maybe some of that attention belongs elsewhere.

In short: Does America expect to have to pay her debts?

Yes, this is a pretty immature speculation, but when did the White House last demonstrate any real maturity? Last millennium, wasn't it?

"If you have tears, prepare to shed them now"

2005-09-07T10:17:00.000+12:00

driftglass, a master of words, shows he can turn his hand to a mean photo essay too.

joe max has turned it into a Quicktime movie for downloading here. Get it before the RIAA does.

Update 9 Sep: Movie moved - preceding link updated.

PR War, War PR

2005-08-26T16:24:00.000+12:00

From ABC News:

Troops' Gravestones Have Pentagon Slogans

ARLINGTON, Va. Aug 24, 2005 — Unlike earlier wars, nearly all Arlington National Cemetery gravestones for troops killed in Iraq or Afghanistan are inscribed with the slogan-like operation names the Pentagon selected to promote public support for the conflicts.

Families of fallen soldiers and Marines are being told they have the option to have the government-furnished headstones engraved with "Operation Enduring Freedom" or "Operation Iraqi Freedom" at no extra charge, whether they are buried in Arlington or elsewhere. A mock-up shown to many families includes the operation names.

(more)

Okay, what next?

Drop the G-Bomb

2005-08-15T09:16:00.000+12:00

From Phil Plait, the highly esteemed Bad Astronomer, via Creek Running North:

A bunch of skeptical blogs are Google bombing the phrase Intelligent Design, so that people who type those two words in Google are redirected to the NCSE web page about it. They’re also encouraging others to do it, so what the heck. If you have a blog, or a website, give it a shot. This might prove to be fun.

There - I've added my grain of sand.

If you're unfamiliar with the term "Google bombing" read this. Short version - just add this HTML to your blog or website:

<a href="http://www.ncseweb.org/resources/articles/
996_intelligent_design_not_accep_9_10_2002.asp">Intelligent Design</a>

Your grandchildren will thank you.

Childish as Hell - of course I like it

2005-08-09T16:17:00.000+12:00

Okay, Hell Pizza would never go over big in Red State America - "0800 666 111, The Number of the Feast" - but wouldn't this make their tiny little heads asplode?

...
The Hell Pizza billboards have been erected around Auckland and Wellington. Half of the poster is taken up with a photo of the president and the other half has the phrase 'Hell: Too Good For Some Evil Bastards.'
...

According to another article,

...
The US Embassy in Wellington is trying to see the funny side
...

Me have camera. Me find billboard.

Update (i) 9 Aug: Still don't even know where the Wellington one is (somewhere near their city franchise location I guess) but did find a photo from Auckland.

Update (ii) 9 Aug: The one in Wellington is different and has, alas, been defaced. Some people don't have the sense to leave a good thing alone.

Shrubbish for Beginners

2005-07-28T10:00:00.000+12:00

freem: American nirvana
prysfreem: shit that happens to other people
rack: a place full of brown people and black gold
racky: probably a bad person
sumbinlahn: a mythical creature of no interest
stamsane: definitely a bad person
stemmerlen: a day that will live in infamy
turrsts: bad people
turrzim: bad things
warn tear: not a quagmire, no sirree

Parliament today

2005-07-08T12:25:00.000+12:00

Random synaptic discharge

2005-07-04T17:12:00.000+12:00

Let me see if I get this right: putting "R" after a politician's name in the US indicates that they are Republican. Seems simple enough.

In the Royal Navy of yore (specifically 18th/19th Century) placing "R" after a man's name meant that he had "run", or deserted.

Oh this is too easy!

The Week Outside Parliament

2005-06-27T12:48:00.000+12:00

From my desk I have a superb view, over the roof of the National Library, of the forecourt outside the House of Representatives. This is the space where dignitaries are received, flags are flown, and rallies and protests gather. Since this is an election year, I expect things to be quite entertaining from time to time. I've got a decent set of binoculars with me, so I can read all the banners and placards, though numberplates are tantalisingly not quite legible.

The last week or two have been busy. The tally:

Flags flown

Pakistan - President Musharraf paid a call. His bodyguard suffered some confusion at Auckland airport as to just when they were expected to surrender their guns.

China - The deputy premier was here a couple of weeks before this with the motorcade and all, and was greeted by pro-Tibet protestors as well as a more welcoming contingent, but I don't know who it was for this time.

Olympic - The Olympic standard was flying from the otherwise unoccupied poles for Olympic Day. They were flying for two days, in fact - perhaps as long as it was June 23 somewhere in the world...

Crowds gathered

Large numbers of schoolchildren congregated for a street march to promote road safety. Lots of small people in traffic-cone orange and zebra-crossing stripes to make the point. Easily the biggest crowd of the week.
8/10 including a bonus point for cuteness

Orchardists gathered to protest Australia's continued denial of apple exports from New Zealand. Apparently, Australian growers import New Zealand budwood, which can carry fireblight, while denying access to the fruit. Protestors dressed as cricketers used apples in a re-enactment of the infamous underarm incident to help get their point across.
7/10 including a bonus point for humour

A somewhat confused and low key appearance. While the PRC's flag was flying out front, something that looked like a small, cheap Chinese festival dragon wended its way across the paving and halfway up Parliament steps. Suspecting some form of human rights protest, I was bemused by the lack of security personnel, or indeed anybody else. A look through the binoculars revealed a couple of small placards carried in support with the Green Party logo and nothing else. When the dragon, or whatever it was, was laid out across the steps, lettering down the side read "WGTN dumps 1000 bottles every 1/2 hour." Even the Greens' own web site has nothing to say on the topic of glass recycling later than a press release on 26 May.
2/10 with points docked for lack of point, organisation, spectacle, timeliness, and relevance

Federated Farmers, dressed in orange overalls, deliver two orange coffins full of petition forms protesting Government changes to land access rights. "They abused and jeered senior ministers including Michael Cullen and Mr Sutton, who gave as good as he got."
5/10 including two bonus points for colour coordination and props and another for Minister-baiting, but docked a point for failure to engage public understanding and another point for being a late second to the party with the use of orange

He must have missed out on the Halliburton job

2005-06-25T23:43:00.000+12:00

The "Last Word" column in the Saturday edition of The Dominion Post is a regular repository for quirky items, often reader-submitted. I'm sure the type is common to many newspapers. This entry from the 19 June edition caught my eye.

We couldn't help but notice a member of ousted Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein's legal team is none other than Giovanni di Stefano, last seen in these parts when he was exposed as a British conman after arriving in Auckland in 1990, claiming to have $100 million to invest in real estate. Before gaining Saddam as a client, di Stefano was living in Belgrade where he claimed as "good friends" another now-former dictator, ex-Yugoslav president Slobodan Milosevic, and another butcher, the infamous Serbian warlord Arkan, aka Zeljko Raznatovic. He sure gets around.

Simple numbers

2005-06-22T11:16:00.000+12:00

There's a paean of despair I've seen over and over, exemplified by this remark and response in a recent comment thread at Eschaton.

B1: As soon as the pictures became public, there was outrage all across the country. Don't sell the American public short...

B2: Never forget that half the fucking country voted for chimpy. Don't make excuses for them.

No! No, no, no, and again I say, no! Eligible voter turnout in the 2004 Presidential Election was 60.3%. Bush took 50.7% of those votes.

I make that pretty much bang on 30% of eligible Americans voted for Simius Rex. Less than a third. More people didn't bother to vote at all than voted for the missing link.

Pull yourselves together! You know there is no mandate. There must be hope.

Sherwood Forced?

2005-06-17T12:31:00.000+12:00

Bobo's World is essential but relentless and ultimately depressing reading. Today it brings us an update on the story of Representative Don Sherwood (R., Pa.), he of the twitchy digits.

Snippy snippy follows. The whole thing is over here. (No attribution for the original press source.)

U.S. Rep. Don Sherwood of Northeastern Pennsylvania repeatedly punched and choked a Maryland woman during a "five-year intimate relationship" with her, according to a lawsuit filed yesterday.

Cynthia Ore, 29, of Rockville, Md., says that after each "unprovoked and vicious attack," Sherwood, 64, promised he wouldn't do it again and begged her not to leave him, according to the four-count lawsuit filed by Patrick M. Regan, a Washington lawyer.

[...]

The complaint states that throughout the relationship, Sherwood repeatedly struck Ore on her face, neck, chest and back, violently yanked her hair, and tried to strangle her.

In the complaint, Ore states that she lived with Sherwood in Washington for much of the relationship and that he repeatedly promised to marry her and start a family.

Sherwood is married and has three daughters.

[...]

Metropolitan Police said at the time that they saw no physical evidence of injury to Ore and noted that "both parties have left out significant information or are not willing to discuss in detail what actually happened."

Police said Ore "did not appear to be of sound mind" and initially said she was choked, then changed her story.

Ore said she was dazed and distressed when the police arrived, but denies changing her story.

Sherwood has denied choking Ore and has referred to her as a "casual acquaintance." He told police he was giving her a backrub when she "jumped up" and ran.

No matter how high they rise, deep down the Sherwoods of this world are trailer trash. You can see it in the relationships they form. It doesn't matter one iota if the assaults did or didn't happen; both parties are plainly dysfunctional whichever way you slice it, and the whole thing reads like something from COPS. Plus, why do I keep feeling like Cynthia's surname is missing a leading apostrophe?

No threesome with Mary Carey for you, Don.

Cheap shot du jour

2005-06-16T13:43:00.000+12:00

In mail from a friend.

I see the coroner's conclusion that Schiavo's brain had shrunk to half that of normal and she could not have formed conscious thought.

Why am I thinking "presidential candidate" here?

Apples and Oranges

2005-06-01T09:18:00.000+12:00

Eschaton commenter "Fielding Mellish" (I didn't get it, but Google is my bestest friend) posted this in a Memorial Day thread there. It made my blood run cold.

I just heard this anecdote. My brother-in-law (more of a brother, really) has a cousin in Iraq. Like so many others, his mother bought him body armor because the regime wouldn't.

He recently told his mother that he didn't have it anymore, and asked for a replacement, telling her that someone stole it. However, he related the real story to my brother - he had to throw it away because "it took one in the front, two in the back."

Think about it. The guy's not even listed as wounded, so he appears in no statistics, but if that had been Vietnam he would be dead or, if he was really lucky, invalided out. So when the chickenshit chickenhawks bandy the numbers about to prove there's less mire in this quag, you know which orifice they're talking out of.

Your rulers despise you.

For Memorial Day

2005-05-31T16:06:00.000+12:00

'Good morning; good morning' the General said,
When we met him last week on our way to the line.
Now the soldiers he smiled at are most of 'em dead,
And we're cursing his staff for incompetent swine.
'He's a cheery old card,' grunted Harry to Jack
As they slogged up to Arras with rifle and pack...
But he did for them both with his plan of attack.
—Siegfried Sassoon

For us Down Under, April 25 is Anzac Day.

More New Zealanders died in the trenches in France and Belgium than fell in Turkey, but Gallipoli was the crucible in which one of the earliest facets of a national identity was forged from the experiences of the Australia and New Zealand Army Corps.

What's not to like about Ike?

2005-05-24T09:17:00.000+12:00

A few days ago, The Heretik channeled the ghost of Eisenhower. Summoning the shades of the departed struck me as an awful lot of effort to go to when so many of the man's recorded words were so accessible and apt.

Courtesy of www.bartleby.com:

"Don’t join the book burners. Don’t think you are going to conceal faults by concealing evidence that they ever existed."
— June 14, 1953, Dartmouth College.
"May we never confuse honest dissent with disloyal subversion."
— May 31, 1954, New York City.
"Should a nation which attacks and occupies foreign territory in the face of United Nations disapproval be allowed to impose conditions on its own withdrawal?"
— radio and television broadcast on the situation in the Middle East, Washington, D.C., February 20, 1957, following Israel's invasion of Egypt on October 29, 1956, precipitating the Suez Crisis.
"But we know that freedom cannot be served by the devices of the tyrant. As it is an ancient truth that freedom cannot be legislated into existence, so it is no less obvious that freedom cannot be censored into existence. And any who act as if freedom’s defenses are to be found in suppression and suspicion and fear confess a doctrine that is alien to America."
— letter on intellectual freedom to Dr. Robert B. Downs, president of the American Library Association, June 24, 1953.
"Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and are not clothed."
— to American Society of Newspaper Editors, April 16, 1953.

Où sont les Républicains d'antan?

Words words words

2005-05-19T10:51:00.000+12:00

A confession: I have a dilettante interest in the language of abuse, profanity, and obscenity. So when a commenter on Jesus' General wrote

Billy's right, you know. What say we just bring back the use of all racial slurs.

of course I had to take a peek. But that list is less than reliable if the entries relating to New Zealand are any indication.

Bogan - Whites - New Zealand white trash or rednecks.

This one's very close, actually. Good enough for the purposes of that list at least. Bogans are urban - no rural connotations like "redneck" - but it's closer to "redneck" than "white trash" in intensity. Folks don't refer to themselves as "white trash" (except ironically) do they?

Looks like this one came from Australia, but has developed an entirely different connotation in crossing the Tasman:

bogan (plural bogans)
(Australian) A young person who is not cool.
(New Zealand) A member of a lower socioeconomic group historically classified by the wearing of black jumpers, black T-shirts decorated with designs including such bands as Led Zeppelin, The Doors and Nirvana or favourite drinks such as Jack Daniels or Jim Beam. Bogans often drive larger cars and are often referred to as petrolheads.

Kiwi - New Zealanders - The native bird is the Kiwi. Not necessarily a slur to New Zealanders.

Uh, I'd like to know who considers it a slur, if only so I can avoid contracting Stupid Cooties from them.

Pakeha - New Zealanders - White New Zealanders only. Maori for "white devil". Curiously, this is an official term.

Bollocks. A definitive etymology is unknown. There are several suggestions, some of which are innocuous, others less so, and none of which are "white devil". The most amusing hypothesis is that it came from the early whalers' and sealers' frequent use of the curse "bugger ya!"

The word does have official status though, which from a pragmatic point of view should, no matter how unpleasant any putative origin may be, make it no more offensive than "vanilla" is for its root in "vagina". (Aussies and Kiwis of any age or gender will get a dirty little schoolboy snigger out of the close proximity of "root" and "vagina" there, but that's beside the point.)

This article discusses the etymology of "Pakeha", concluding that the most plausible origin is in "Pakepakeha - Mythical, human like being, with fair skin and hair who possessed canoes made of reeds which changed magically into sailing vessels." Frankly too flattering.

Pom - British - Used by Australians. It's the acronym of "Port of Melbourne", the port where British immigrants landed in the colonization of Australia.
Pome - British - 'Property Of Mother England' - Used in Australia, New Zealand, etc. Probably related to and/or another version of Pom.

This is seriously confused. Pom, or Pommy for a Briton is correct, though a Scot, Welshman, or Ulsterman is much less likely to be referred to as such than an Englishman.

Beyond that, etymology is uncertain, and the "Port of Melbourne" derivation is a new one to me. The standard version is "Prisoner of Mother England", but this smells like a back-formation. More convincing is the suggestion that it's a humorously semi-rhyming misrendering from "immigrant" through "immigranate" to "pomegranate" to— you get the picture.

Speaking of surprising quotes

2005-05-17T11:34:00.000+12:00

This one from commenter BOHICA at Steve Gilliard's place:

"The powers in charge keep us in a perpetual state of fear: Keep us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor with the cry of grave national emergency. Always there has been some terrible evil to gobble us up if we did not blindly rally behind it by furnishing the exorbitant sums demanded. Yet in retrospect, these disasters seem never to have happened, seem never to have been quite real...."
—General Douglas MacArthur

Well I never.

Ease off that throttle, Congressman

2005-05-16T16:54:00.000+12:00

This isn't what I was ~~threatening~~ er, promising in that last post, but it's such a jawdropper I can't let it pass. Besides, I can't start whoring this blog until there's something to read.

If you patronise the sort of blog I link to on the right, you are probably:

A traitorous liberal weenie, most likely French, harbouring blackest treason in your twisted commie soul.
Already aware of the story, curiously underplayed in your media, of 64-year-old Representative Don Sherwood and the 29-year-old woman who is definitely not his mistress, goodness me no. And he was only giving her a backrub. The Lord only knows why she called 911 claiming his hands somehow wound up around her throat.

Via All Hat No Cattle, Yahoo! news has this update. The money shot's right there in the first two paragraphs.

Pa. Papers Spar Over Congressman Coverage
By DAVID B. CARUSO, Associated Press Writer
Thu May 12, 7:06 PM ET

PHILADELPHIA - Some news outlets in northeastern Pennsylvania have declined to report on an encounter between a married GOP congressman and a 29-year-old woman, with one managing editor telling readers he didn't think the matter was "my business. Or yours."

"Where is the connection between the politician's private moral life and his public performance?" Lawrence K. Beaupre, the managing editor of The Scranton Times and The Tribune, explained in a letter to readers Sunday.

Tell that to Bill Clinton.

There's a useful word for when one encounters moments like these. That word is "gobsmacked".

Just warming up

2005-05-16T13:30:00.000+12:00

I've had a LiveJournal for a little while now, and dumped political musings and finds there from time to time, but it's not really the best environment for that sort of thing. Besides, folks who are interested in that stuff aren't so likely to be interested in the occasional sharing of minutiae of my life, or vice versa. So here we go: two minds, half a brain.

In all probability, more of the postings here will relate to US politics than what's going on in New Zealand (though we do have an election later this year which could turn up some interesting stories.) The reason for this is simple: when you're in bed with an elephant, you really do need to know which way it's going to roll over next.

I almost have a plan for the next few entries. I've noticed that the current US administration has been copping well-deserved flak for invoking FDR whenever they're fingered in the act of dismantling his legacy. There's someone else from the same era who is often (ab)used in the same way, but whose own words - and he wrote many, many words - frequently confound those who would summon his ghost.

Let us see.

The Reality Inversion Layer Descends Further

2005-04-01T13:06:00.000+12:00

(Backfilling - originally posted here.)

Trophy Hunting Advocate Named Acting Director of U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service

— The Humane Society of the United States

WASHINGTON – Today, The HSUS expressed its strong disappointment that Interior Secretary Gale Norton has named Matthew J. Hogan to be acting director of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.
[...]
Hogan was formerly the chief lobbyist for Safari Club International (SCI), an extreme trophy hunting organization that advocates the killing of rare species around the world.

Okay, "extreme trophy hunting" sounds exciting, but what's it about? And that word "killing" - so judgemental!

SCI members shoot prescribed lists of animals to win so-called Grand Slam and Inner Circle titles. There's the Africa Big Five (leopard, elephant, lion, rhino, and buffalo), the North American Twenty Nine (all species of bear, bison, sheep, moose, caribou, and deer), Big Cats of the World, Antlered Game of the Americas, and many other contests.

To complete all 29 award categories, a hunter must kill a minimum of 322 separate species and sub-species - enough to populate a large zoo.

Sounds difficult. Can't be cheap either.

This is an extremely expensive and lengthy task,

See?

and many SCI members take the quick and easy route to see their names in the record books. They shoot captive animals in canned hunts, both in the United States and overseas, and some engage in other unethical conduct like shooting animals over bait, from vehicles, with spotlights, or on the periphery of national parks.

What's the fuss about? Hell, it's not like they're using explosives or poison, is it? Great White Hunters all.

SCI members have even tried to circumvent federal laws to import their rare trophies from other countries. Prominent SCI hunter Kenneth E. Behring donated $100 million to the Smithsonian's Natural History Museum and, according to published reports, tried to get the museum's help in importing a rare Kara Tau argali sheep which he shot in Kazakhstan and had shipped to a Canadian taxidermist - one of only 100 Kara Tau argali sheep remaining in the world.

It would be ridiculous to imagine for an instant that the hundred million was donated for anything resembling that purpose, but that's a lot of money to be demeaned by even the appearance of trying to leverage it in this way. Of course he's not going to demand the money back if he doesn't get his way, but it's tainted by association. (And in the "no surprises there" department Behring is, predictably, a corpulent white dude.)

What's a good black joke without a punchline. Wait for it ... you know it's coming.

The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, now under Hogan's watch, is the agency charged with granting or denying such trophy import permits.

Poacher turned gamekeeper? Yeah, and this is a genuine Rolex.

"Gomer Pyle" was a documentary?

2005-03-15T12:34:00.000+13:00

(Backfilling - originally posted here.)

US troops get training to avoid friendly-fire attacks on British

— The Times (the real one)

Thirty-two "blue-on-blue" attacks on British and other coalition vehicles have been logged in the past twelve months in southern Iraq, Britain’s area of responsibility.

Fortunately, their aim appears to be as good as their fire discipline (except where it comes to journalists.)

"vehicle blue-on-blue incidents" in the period from February last year had resulted in ten minor injuries. "There have been no fatalities," one said.

Still, it's not just the Americans. They're part of a select company.

A small number of incidents involved Romanian and Bulgarian troops opening fire.

Nothing a good swift kick in the Balkans wouldn't cure. But US commanders seem to know what the problem is.

their men were shooting at the British because they failed to recognise the Union Jack or other distinguishing military markings

Perhaps a little ditty might help - "Red white and blue/Let it pass through" for instance.

The British have thus far resisted the temptation to shoot back. After all, they'd probably hit someone.

"If they shoot, our drill is to slam on the brakes and race in the opposite direction."

With friends like these...

A song for our times (sans permission)

2004-12-13T23:25:00.000+13:00

(Backfilling - originally posted here.)

From one of the best damned albums of all time. We have arrived.

Title: Hammerheads
Artist: Shriekback
Album: Oil and Gold
Year: 1985

Our time has come, Age of the Hammerhead
This is our mission, to be the Daleks of God
Too late for silence, too late for anything
It's all too much for me, its roots go down too deep for me

A punishing fire, an animal frenzy
These hammerhead people who know what danger is for
You let them in and now they're everywhere
If it's mineral or vegetable it's back a little up a little

Shout, push Hammerheads, bold and resolute
Marching, balancing, in too far to go back
Yes, yes Hammerheads, swimming, kissing
We are big and clever and we don't know anything

Purification by immersion in our filthy demon seed
We know the only things you like are
Paranoid sex and childish greed
Our own worst enemies they hollowed us out of wood
Look at all the grease inside us, gonna get us this time but good
Whether we pull it out or push it in it all ends up the same
You know a hammerhead is a hammerhead by any other name

Shout, push Hammerheads, bold and resolute
Marching, balancing, in too far to go back
Yes, yes Hammerheads, swimming, kissing
We are big and clever and we don't know anything
Onward Hammerheads, bright and dangerous
Jumping, running in the field and factory
God save Hammerheads, keeping going
We are sleek and special and we're sure of something

Blessed are the ape men, blessed are the shit kickers
Blessed are the jackhammers, blessed is the big damage
Blessed are the faith healers, blessed are the moon walkers
Blessed are the snake people, blessed are the heat seekers

Now assuage my guilty conscience over reproducing these lyrics: find the album and buy it.