Tuesday, June 20, 2006

In the absence of substance, cheap laughs

I saw this list in a comment thread God-knows-where and though it has surely been all over the Internets by now, and applied with appropriate alterations to at least three presidents of the United States, six prime ministers of four different Commonwealth countries, one or more Popes, Fidel Castro, and Angelina Jolie, I swear I haven't seen it elsewhere personally, so I cut and paste with a clear - if creatively bankrupt - conscience.

How many members of the Bush administration does it take to change a light bulb?
  1. One to call FOX news so they can broadcast a story denying that the light bulb needed to be changed in the first place;

  2. One to attack the patriotism of anyone who says the light bulb needs to be changed;

  3. One to blame Bill and Hillary for burning out the light bulb;

  4. One to arrange the invasion of a country rumored to have caused the light bulb to burn out and to find the stockpile of light bulbs;

  5. One to give a billion dollar no-bid contract to Halliburton for the new light bulb;

  6. One to arrange a photograph of Bush, dressed as a janitor, standing on a step ladder under the banner: Light Bulb Change Accomplished;

  7. One administration insider to resign and write a book documenting in detail how Bush was literally in the dark;

  8. One to viciously smear #7;

  9. One surrogate to campaign on TV and at rallies on how George Bush has had a strong light-bulb-changing policy all along;

  10. One to arrange a Press Conference where Bush will tell everyone that he is the "Decider" and he decided all alone that the light bulb needed changing;

  11. One person to arrange for Condi and Rumsfield to make a secret trip to the GE Light Bulb Factory;

  12. One to sober Cheney up and keep him sober so he doesn't shoot the light bulb changer;

  13. And finally one to confuse Americans about the difference between screwing a light bulb and screwing the country.

2 Comments:

At 4:41 AM, Blogger Paul Tomblin said...

6a. One to take the troops that should have been used in 4, and use them to invade a country that didn't have anything to do with the light bulb burn out, based on phoney cherry picked intelligence that said they were making light bulb burning out technology.

12a. When the invasion in 6a doesn't turn up any light burning out technology, three to make up three new excuses why they were invaded.

12b. One to call Fox News and have them say that the three new reasons were the reasons all along.

 
At 9:46 PM, Blogger pissed off patricia said...

Okay, that's pretty funny and not much is funny at all these days.

Thanks for making me smile :)

 

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